Thursday, March 11, 2010

Slow Motion

I have found that if I get out of bed right when I wake up, my day is a little better. If I don't get up, I tend to stay there and cry until something makes me get up, i.e. my job or my body hurting because I've been lying there for so long. As I said before, my world seems to be moving in slow motion and time stands still. I only work a part time job so what am I to do with the other hours during the week that I have nothing to do. I work out.. A LOT... but that is only about 7 hours per week. I deactivated my facebook for a while so what used to take up at least 2 hours a day now needs to be filled by something new and Twitter does not fill the same void.

The worst part is I want to talk to a particular person who refuses. It hurts, it might mean closure for me once I talk to him. I've reached out and nothing... I don't know what else to do. I don't want to smother, that's what got me into this position in the first place, but I do want/ need to talk.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Status Update

By special request, I'm back... thank you Mr. Ramirez and I do hope the movie wraps up nicely. Without going into specifics, the weather directly reflects my emotions. Drizzly, cloudy with a chance of hysterical showers only to be followed by a frigidly cold front rounding off the day with some sun but topsy turvy wind. I really do love when it rains. It makes me feel like the earth is getting out its frustrations... you know that one good cry a year! In the case of Texas, the one good cry in a few years.. thank you Jesus the earth was in need of a cry.

I will not lie, I have written several entries since I sat down and all seem very emotional and heavy. That couldn't have anything to do with the fact that my world is moving in slow motion, now could it. I'm not a huge fan of uber-emo and extra personal social media updates. i.e hour by hour baby labor tweets= kinda weird. Or the ones that read something like this.. "My heart is breaking and I can't breath..." Isn't that a Taylor Swift song??? I just think that if your having a rough time or a bad day your status should read something like this... "rough day... I need a drink" or "pray for me," 'cause if you're anything like me... the details sometimes make me awkward. I'm having a tough time right now and I don't want to make my readers awkward so... rough day.. I need a drink and pray for me!