ACL FEST 2008

it was amazing.. now it's over.. and i just ate lots of pancakes and am going back to sleep...

work work work

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This makes me want to scream. I have spent at least an hour every morning on craig's list, or hot jobs or monsters and nothing that is available sounds remotely close to what I want to do. I guess it would help if I knew what I wanted to do. Event Planning, publicists, journalists, fashion editor, teacher, what the heck I might even fathom the idea of being a mail woman at this point. I talked to Pec yesterday and he suggested I research the idea of working in the admin office at Westmont. His ploy to get me to Santa Barbara just might work. But I have to be honest with myself. I really don't want to work. I've never been a "worker" but more of a "spender." I guess I should get over that seeing as how the Bank of Mommy closes very VERY soon.

SoulMates

Soul Mates. Defined by dictionary.com as a person with whom one has strong affinity. Not knowing what affinity meant I had to search that word as well. Affinity: a natural liking to. I was not satisfied with this definition so I moved on to Websters. Where Soul Mate is defined two ways: 1) a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament, 2) a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs. Ummm still not satisfied... moving on to the less accredited wikipedia...

"Soul mate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility."

This is better... for a second there I was feeling like I had been lied to all my life and finding your soul mate had nothing to do with falling in love. But do I really believe this? My church back home is doing a series on marriage and my "soul mate" is something I think about a lot. This series made me think about it even more. I thought about what my definition of a soul mate would be and this is what I came up with.

Soul Mate- My perfect equal in beliefs, thoughts, activities and love. One who knows what I am feeling by the look on my face and/or my body language and knows how to remedy my anger, sadness or frustration. (S)He holds a special place in my heart that no one will ever be able to fill and my heart breaks when (s)he is hurting. This person is my best friend in every way.

Now let me explain. I think your soul mate is your perfect match but I do not think they have come in the form of the opposite sex from you. I guess another word for this would be "Kindred Spirits." I also don't think that your soul mate is the one you will marry. Even if this person happens to be of the opposite sex, your husband/wife will also love and cherish this person as a part of what comes with you... not an opposing force. There is an understanding shared that you have with no one else and you can share things that you cannot share with anyone else. You see... My pastor described marriage as two opposite people joining together to complete each other. I think your soul mate is so much like you there is nothing to complete.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday! He's old.. haha but really. well he is but he doesn't act a day over 15. He's on this new trip that on the kid's birthday, they should give their mother a birthday present. My mom got presents on my birthday and mom got presents on pecos' birthday. I over heard him talking to my grandmother asking her what she wanted for his birthday. I got to thinking... i like this idea because eventually, God willing, I will have some chicklings and i defiantly want another reason to get presents. So lets see, that will be, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentine's Day, My Birthday and My kid's birthdays... I LOVE IT!!!

Luke

As humans we are not guaranteed tomorrow. This is not a theory, but a fact. At any moment God could decide He wants you Home and that will be that. 4 years ago, a friend of mine passed away, Luke Thompson. He was what I would consider my first real boyfriend. He was a sophomore at Westlake High School and I was a freshman at Dripping Springs High School. Our point of connection was that my cousin, Allison, was dating his best friend Zach Keller. I remember our first meeting like it was yesterday. Still in my slightly awkward phase, I was unsure how to act around boys. I was spending the night with Allison and her new boyfriend and one of his friends were coming over to watch a movie. The doorbell rang and I quickly answered the door to see what was waiting for me on the other side. I opened the door and saw the two 6'4" boys, with perfectly triangular shoulders, one with dark hair, Zach, the other dirty blonde, Luke. Trying hard not to drool, I briskly said, "Sorry wrong house," and closed the door. Little did I know, Luke, would be the first of many infatuations with the swimmer variety.

It was over before it started. I think it was more the teenage hormones than anything else that drew us towards each other. Nevertheless, we had some fun. His room was the first boy's room I'd seen other than my brother's. I remember him being a great kisser.. well as good as it could get with me having a mouth full of metal. I also remember getting lost in his enormous house. One wrong turn coming back to the game room from the bathroom and I was on the other side of the house. He came out to my house on my birthday and on other time after that. Like many high school relationships, ours lasted for a hot minuet. I'm not sure what happened... one day we were good and the next he didn't answer my phone call. When he finally did answer my call, I had some not so nice words for him. Mind you I was 15, emotionally unstable and had just given my whole heart to the guy I was sure was "Mr.Right!" I spoke to him once more over the next four years. Again, not so nice words... The first cut is the deepest.

Sophomore year of college, I get a call from Allison. I missed her first call and was calling her back now. She was not her usual self and her voice is unstable as she answered. My first question, "What are you up to?" The crack in her voice revealed that this was not a call of pleasure. My second question, "Allison, what's wrong?"

"Ana, Luke died."

I think that was the last thing I heard until my boyfriend at the time came and picked me up and drove me to Austin. I didn't speak, I didn't cry, I only replayed our last conversation over and over again in my head. Anger, Hatred, Hostility, those would be the words to describe the last time I spoke to Luke. Finally, when we meet my mom I let myself go. Collapsing into her arms, she is the only person I have ever been 100% comfortable crying with. But this emotional episode would be nothing like what was to come at Allison's house. The door opened, Allison answered and we nearly hit the floor. We stayed up the entire night... really just keeping our minds off the recent tragedy.

I have refused to go to bed angry with anyone ever again. It still pains me to think that my last memory of Luke, someone truly easy going and would rope the moon for you if asked, is joyless. I wish I could make a mends with Luke, tell him I'm sorry for being a stupid little girl. I wish we could still be friends. I do not regret decisions I have made in the past, I can't change them. The one thing I do regret is not saying "I'm Sorry."

Luke would be 23 now...

A Taste of Fall

I woke up yesterday morning and Fall was in the air. Chaco had an unusual amount of energy on our 3 mile walk due to the brisk air and low humidity. I spent the day reading with all my windows open and fans turned on. I got the feeling like I was living on the west coast. It is still the middle of September here in Central Texas... it is not supposed to cool down until late October, early November. But the break from the hellish heat Texans know and love was welcomed. There was a more vibrant energy at work. My clients were ready and willing to do their cardio workouts outdoors!

I slept with my window open last night and actually had to pull up my other blanket for more warmth! That made me happy!

The change in seasons also brings a change is scenery on local department stores and boutiques. CHRISTMAS! Are you kidding me? a little drop in temperature and you are going to put out Christmas decor?? We haven't even gotten through Halloween yet. Did I miss Thanksgiving?

Things I Miss

For those of you who I talk to on a regular basis know I have been having food issues lately. I'm not talking about an eating disorder or anything like that... I actually kinda wish that was the case, at least then it would be my choice not to eat meat. Instead, my stomach has developed a mind of its own and will no longer allow me to eat meat. This is very frustrating. While in Dallas, I had to pass up homemade fried chicken and settle for all the meatless sides instead. Then driving home today, I passed a Bill Miller's BB-Q and those of you who really know me, know that a chopped beef sandwich will turn my frown upside down! Another obstacle I have encountered with my forced vegetarianism is cooking for my friends. Something I love to do all of the sudden is a huge hassle. I can't just make everyone the same chicken enchiladas, I have to make them chicken and then make mine spinach. I love spinach, but I also love LOVE my chicken enchilada casserole.
Matt took me to Wildfish last night! Which I have been wanting to go for so long... it was fabulous!! And I had so much fun! The scallops were cooked to perfection... but the entire time I was eating theses delectable little sea creatures, all I could think about was how I could go for some chicken parmigiano and how I'm about to get real tired of fish real fast. So what's on the menu for tonight's dinner.... fish tacos!! (I have actually been craving them since last week.. so its time to make them!!! )

some recent photos

This layout thing didnt work as i had planned.. but oh well.. of to class





FUN FUN FUN!!!!!

Home Sweet Home

I love being home. Living alone sometimes leads to being a bit reclusive, so when I go to my parents house I get weirded out when there are people there as soon as I wake up. Being in Dallas all week was a struggle. Not only were my parents there as soon as I woke up, but I was sleeping on my grandmother's fold out bed in the middle of the living room so, half my family was in my world as soon as I opened my eyes. I think I handled it very well, I didn't blow up on anyone or fuss about wanting to sleep later than I was being forced to wake up. I simply cracked my neck and unfolded my body out of bed, preceded to the kitchen for a cup of my Grandmire's very weak coffee and headed for the shower.
But now I am back in my shoe box apartment. The first thing I did was clean in my undies, changed the sheets on my bed, start my laundry, and unloaded the dishwasher! Now I'm waiting for Matt to get here with a movie! I had my alone time and am ready for the company! Home sweet Home!!!!

Sweet Tea and Bar-B-Q

Family time comes in all different shapes and sizes. The usual layout for my family time consists of two parents, one brother, nine cousins, one 2nd cousin, ten aunts and uncles, two grandparents and up until Saturday at noon, one great-Grandmire. The face of those family gatherings is more chaotic than relaxing. Papaw smokes the Bar-B-Q, and Michael Wayne brews the sweet tea that is so sweet it makes your teeth hurt. It's what a picture of a Texas family should look like. 

On Saturday, our number went from 25 to 24 when we lost our Great-Grandmire. She has always been "Great-Grandmire" to me and my cousins, "Grandmire" to my mom, dad, aunts and uncles, "mom" to my Grandmire, "Boots" to close friends, and "Louise" to others (Come to think of it, I have never actually heard anyone call Great-Grandmire, Louise in all my 21 years). She might have had many names but she had one huge heart that had more love than she had time to give it. 

So this family gathering, though more solemn than others, will be focused on the woman who started this chaos just shy of a century ago. And there will be Bar-B-Q and Sweet Tea; everyone will laugh and some will cry, but "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!" 

itchy legs

Mosquitoes! It's not summer in Texas with out 'em. My apartment over waters the grass to keep it nice and green, so we not only have mosquitoes through the summer but also through the majority of the fall and winter. I just took Chaco out for a potty break and was outside for maybe 15 minuets and my legs got attacked. I'm talking the chances of me having malaria now is greater than when I was in Africa. I think I have 20 whelps on one leg. And now they are driving me crazy... but you can't scratch them because that will just make them itch even more. UGH!

The Human Race

My new favorite sound is 15,000 sneakers hitting the ground at different times. It sounds like rain on a tin roof, another one of my favorite sounds. I finished 165,208th in the world! My time was 1:13:14. With a possible stress fracture in my right foot, I would say that was pretty good! At 6:30PM yesterday at 6th and Congress, 15,000 Austinites in red Human Race shirts set off to run 6.25 miles for a good cause! It was so cool to know that 24 other cities around the world were running with us! The website said that over 3 million miles were run all together! This really was The Human Race!