Luke

As humans we are not guaranteed tomorrow. This is not a theory, but a fact. At any moment God could decide He wants you Home and that will be that. 4 years ago, a friend of mine passed away, Luke Thompson. He was what I would consider my first real boyfriend. He was a sophomore at Westlake High School and I was a freshman at Dripping Springs High School. Our point of connection was that my cousin, Allison, was dating his best friend Zach Keller. I remember our first meeting like it was yesterday. Still in my slightly awkward phase, I was unsure how to act around boys. I was spending the night with Allison and her new boyfriend and one of his friends were coming over to watch a movie. The doorbell rang and I quickly answered the door to see what was waiting for me on the other side. I opened the door and saw the two 6'4" boys, with perfectly triangular shoulders, one with dark hair, Zach, the other dirty blonde, Luke. Trying hard not to drool, I briskly said, "Sorry wrong house," and closed the door. Little did I know, Luke, would be the first of many infatuations with the swimmer variety.

It was over before it started. I think it was more the teenage hormones than anything else that drew us towards each other. Nevertheless, we had some fun. His room was the first boy's room I'd seen other than my brother's. I remember him being a great kisser.. well as good as it could get with me having a mouth full of metal. I also remember getting lost in his enormous house. One wrong turn coming back to the game room from the bathroom and I was on the other side of the house. He came out to my house on my birthday and on other time after that. Like many high school relationships, ours lasted for a hot minuet. I'm not sure what happened... one day we were good and the next he didn't answer my phone call. When he finally did answer my call, I had some not so nice words for him. Mind you I was 15, emotionally unstable and had just given my whole heart to the guy I was sure was "Mr.Right!" I spoke to him once more over the next four years. Again, not so nice words... The first cut is the deepest.

Sophomore year of college, I get a call from Allison. I missed her first call and was calling her back now. She was not her usual self and her voice is unstable as she answered. My first question, "What are you up to?" The crack in her voice revealed that this was not a call of pleasure. My second question, "Allison, what's wrong?"

"Ana, Luke died."

I think that was the last thing I heard until my boyfriend at the time came and picked me up and drove me to Austin. I didn't speak, I didn't cry, I only replayed our last conversation over and over again in my head. Anger, Hatred, Hostility, those would be the words to describe the last time I spoke to Luke. Finally, when we meet my mom I let myself go. Collapsing into her arms, she is the only person I have ever been 100% comfortable crying with. But this emotional episode would be nothing like what was to come at Allison's house. The door opened, Allison answered and we nearly hit the floor. We stayed up the entire night... really just keeping our minds off the recent tragedy.

I have refused to go to bed angry with anyone ever again. It still pains me to think that my last memory of Luke, someone truly easy going and would rope the moon for you if asked, is joyless. I wish I could make a mends with Luke, tell him I'm sorry for being a stupid little girl. I wish we could still be friends. I do not regret decisions I have made in the past, I can't change them. The one thing I do regret is not saying "I'm Sorry."

Luke would be 23 now...